First, I'd like to apologise.
I never use dA as a whining blog. Well, never before. There's enough goddamn teen angst on this site as it is.
But I need somewhere to think about what the hell happened today, and here is a good a place as any, I suppose.
I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now, and we care about each other very much.
She's not perfect, which is fine, because I'm not either, and we muddle along together.
My friends don't understand why I'm wasting my time with a pathetic scruffy 16 year old. She's not popular, she's not rich, and their consensus is that she's not even very good looking.
[gasp] She has small breasts! [/gasp]
But because she never actually says or does anything they can object to, they tolerate her.
Or they did up till now.
Now it seems like everyone is having a good laugh at our expense, and considering she's my weak link, it feels doubly bad: it feels like they're attacking me personally.
By the way, when I say weak link, I mean as in my weak spot. For various reasons I'm very self-conscious about my private life, and anything negative said or implied about my girlfriend, or me and my girlfriend, or her family, is as deep and as hurtful to me as if it was said or implied direct to me.
And I can't work out if this is a good thing or not. Am I right to be so sensitive and defensive when it comes to people criticising her?
She doesn't bother to defend herself from all this childish banter. It doesn't seem to affect her. But it affects me; it makes me angry and sad and embarrassed and feeble--I'm not used to dealing with these sorts of emotions. Like I said, she's my weak link.
I'm not about to split up with my girlfriend. I care about her too much. She's too important to me. What I can't decide is whether I should ditch the friends who only seem to want to string us along so they can laugh behind our backs.
I don't expect anyone to offer me advice. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, really. I suppose I just want it to be on the record, that I had this choice to make.


Uh, so, in other news, the Ultimate Buffy Episode will not be making an appearance on dA, due to copyright issues. But I will find some way of getting all interested parties linked to it, when it's finished. (Sometime in December, I hope.) I've been offered webspace on a friend's personal server, so now all I have to do is learn how to use DreamWeaver and I'm shufty.
Shaun of the Neds is still in pre-production, for the most part. Expect it in the first quarter of the New Year, probably March.
Then again, A-levels. *grimaces* Maybe I can get my brother to do the monkey work.